Keep Showing Up: Practicing Committed Action

Knowing what matters is one thing. Doing something about it — consistently, flexibly, and in the face of life’s challenges — is another. In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), this process is called Committed Action.

It’s not about perfection. It’s about making meaningful choices, again and again, guided by your values, not your feelings.

What Is Committed Action?

Committed action is the part of the ACT model where you take real, values-based steps toward the kind of life you want to live. It means:

Setting goals that reflect what’s important to you

Taking action, even when it’s uncomfortable

Adjusting your approach when things get hard — without giving up

It's less about pushing through and more about staying connected to purpose.

Why It Matters

Without action, even the clearest values stay abstract. Committed action turns intention into momentum. When you follow through on what matters, you:

Build confidence and direction

Develop habits that reflect your true self

Learn to tolerate discomfort while moving forward

It’s the difference between wanting to be a present parent and actually putting your phone down to listen. Between valuing health and taking the walk, even when you're tired.

How to Practice Committed Action

Here are four practical ways to build this skill:

1. Anchor Actions to Values

Ask:

> “What do I want to stand for here?”

“What would I do if I were being guided by my values?”

Then act from that space — not from fear, stress, or habit.

2. Make It Specific and Doable

Instead of vague goals like “be healthier,” try:

> “Walk 10 minutes after lunch three times this week.”

Keep your actions small, flexible, and aligned.

3. Plan for Obstacles

Discomfort, doubt, or setbacks will show up. That’s normal.

Ask:

> “What might get in the way?”

“How can I respond when it does?”

You don’t need perfect conditions. You need willingness.

4. Track Progress, Not Perfection

Use a simple question:

> “Did I take a step toward what matters today?”

That’s the metric. Not motivation. Not outcomes. Just movement.

What It’s Not

It’s not rigid discipline

It’s not pushing yourself into burnout

It’s not about fixing yourself or “being better”

Committed action is about living true to your values, one moment at a time — even when it’s hard.

Final Thoughts

You don’t need more motivation. You don’t need to wait until the timing is perfect.

You just need to choose:

> “What matters right now?”

“What’s one small step I can take today?”

Then take that step.

This is how change happens. This is how growth happens.

This is how you become the person you already are inside.

Counselling Support

If you’d like help clarifying your values and taking steps toward a meaningful life, I offer ACT-informed counselling in Cairns and online. Book a session or get in touch to start moving forward.

Living What Matters: Practicing Values-Based Action

We all want to feel good. But ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) suggests there’s something even more powerful — doing what matters, even when things feel hard. That’s where values-based action comes in.

This process is about identifying what’s truly important to you and taking meaningful steps toward it, especially in the face of discomfort. It’s about living with direction and purpose, not just chasing relief or avoiding pain.

What Are Values?

In ACT, values are your chosen life directions — how you want to show up in the world. They’re not goals with endpoints, but ongoing qualities of action.

For example:

Being a present parent

Acting with courage

Contributing to your community

Learning, growing, connecting

Unlike goals, values can’t be “achieved.” They’re qualities you can express in any moment, through action.

Why Values-Based Action Matters

When we’re disconnected from our values, we tend to:

Feel stuck, unmotivated, or lost

Avoid challenges that are actually meaningful

Let fear, self-doubt, or comfort dictate our choices

But when we act in line with our values, we:

Build resilience and purpose

Feel more fulfilled, even during tough times

Create a life that reflects what really matters

How to Practice Values-Based Action

Here are practical ways to connect with your values and move toward them.

1. Identify Your Core Values

Ask yourself:

What kind of person do I want to be?

What do I want to stand for?

What do I want to be remembered for?

You can also reflect on moments that felt meaningful or painful. Both point toward what you care about.

2. Write a Values Statement

Example:

> “I value connection. I want to show up with warmth and honesty in my relationships, even when it’s uncomfortable.”

This gives you a compass for daily decisions.

3. Break It Into Tiny Actions

Once you have a value, ask:

> “What’s one small thing I can do today to live this out?”

For example:

Value: Kindness → Send a check-in text

Value: Courage → Speak up in a meeting

Value: Growth → Read for 10 minutes

4. Use the “Toward or Away” Check-In

Before a decision, pause and ask:

> “Is this moving me toward or away from what matters?”

This helps shift from autopilot to values-guided choices.

What It’s Not

It’s not about being perfect

It’s not about chasing happiness

It’s not about ignoring pain

Values-based action is about choosing to show up, even when it’s hard.

Final Thoughts

Your values are already inside you. You don’t need to earn them or wait until things are easier. You just need to take one small step toward what matters — again and again.

You don’t have to feel brave or motivated. You just have to choose to move.

Counselling Support

If you want help identifying your values or navigating stuck points, I offer ACT-informed counselling in Cairns and online across Australia. Book a session or reach out for a chat.

You Are Not Your Thoughts: Practicing Self-as-Context

We all have a voice in our head — a running commentary narrating, criticising, predicting. Sometimes it says helpful things. Often, it says things that cause stress, shame, or self-doubt. The problem isn’t that we have this voice. The problem is when we believe it is us.

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), one of the six core skills for psychological flexibility is called Self-as-Context. It’s a powerful process that helps you step back from your thoughts and feelings and notice that you are the one observing them, not the content itself.

What Is Self-as-Context?

Self-as-context is the idea that you are more than your thoughts, feelings, or roles. You're the part of you that notices, observes, and holds space for all of your experience — like the sky holds the weather.

Even when storms come (fear, anger, grief), the sky doesn’t break. It makes room. That sky is your observing self — constant, present, and spacious.

Why It Matters

When we confuse ourselves with our thoughts or labels, we:

Get stuck in unhelpful stories (e.g. “I’m broken,” “I always mess things up”)

React automatically instead of choosing

Struggle to take values-based action

Practicing self-as-context helps you unhook from self-judgment and find stability, even when your mind is noisy.

How to Practice Self-as-Context

It’s not abstract or mystical. These are grounded ways to connect with your observing self.

1. Notice the Voice of the Mind

Start by becoming aware of your thoughts as just thoughts. Say to yourself:

> “I notice I’m having the thought that I’ll fail.”

“I’m hearing my mind tell me I’m not good enough.”

This gently separates you from the content.

2. Practice the Sky and Weather Metaphor

Sit quietly for a minute. Imagine your thoughts and feelings as clouds passing by. Some are light, some are dark. You don’t need to stop them. Just notice them float through the sky of your awareness.

3. Try the Chessboard Exercise

Imagine your mind as a chessboard. Your thoughts and feelings are the pieces — some black, some white. But you’re not the pieces. You’re the board. You hold space for the whole game.

4. Use Perspective-Taking Phrases

When you feel caught in a story, say:

> “I’m more than this emotion.”

“I’m the one noticing this.”

“This is something I experience, not all that I am.”

These reminders build space between your identity and your experience.

What It’s Not

It’s not detachment or avoidance

It’s not about erasing your story

It’s not about having no thoughts

Self-as-context is about building the muscle to notice, without becoming entangled.

Final Thoughts

There’s a part of you that’s bigger than your fear, shame, or uncertainty. You’ve always had it. You might just need help remembering how to access it.

Self-as-context helps you live with more freedom and flexibility — not by eliminating hard thoughts, but by learning to hold them lightly.

Counselling Support

If you want to explore this skill with support, I offer ACT-informed counselling in Cairns and online across Australia. You don’t have to untangle everything alone. Book a session or get in touch to learn more.

Coming Back to Now: Practicing Contact with the Present Moment

It’s easy to lose touch with the present. Our minds pull us into the past with regrets or launch us into the future with worry. We can end up so distracted that we miss the moments right in front of us — our breath, our surroundings, the people we love.

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), one of the six key processes that help build psychological flexibility is Contact with the Present Moment. This is about learning to gently bring your attention back to the here and now, again and again, with openness and curiosity.

What Is Contact with the Present Moment?

Contact with the present moment is the ACT version of mindfulness — being consciously engaged with what’s happening right now, rather than being caught up in your head.

It’s not about clearing your mind or finding perfect peace. It’s about noticing what’s happening, both inside you and around you, and responding in a way that supports your values.

> "Where are my feet right now?

What am I doing right now?"

These two questions are often all it takes to come back to now.

Why It Matters

When we’re disconnected from the present:

We miss meaningful experiences

We act on autopilot

We get overwhelmed by thoughts and feelings

We react instead of respond

Present-moment awareness helps us respond more thoughtfully and stay anchored, especially when life feels chaotic or painful.

How to Practice It

Here are simple, practical ways to build this skill — no meditation cushion required.

1. Use the Five Senses

Take a moment to notice:

5 things you can see

4 things you can feel

3 things you can hear

2 things you can smell

1 thing you can taste

This exercise grounds you in your body and environment.

2. Do One Thing at a Time

Choose a task — brushing your teeth, making tea, walking the dog. Try doing it with full attention. If your mind wanders, gently return to the task. This is mindfulness in motion.

3. Name What You Notice

Say quietly to yourself:

> “I’m noticing the feeling of my feet on the floor.”

“I’m hearing birds outside.”

“I notice my breath is shallow.”

This helps shift you from thinking about your experience to being with your experience.

4. Connect with Your Breath

Take a slow breath. Then another. Try this anytime you feel pulled into the past or future. You can even pair it with a short mantra, like “Here now” on each exhale.

What It’s Not

It’s not about “fixing” your mood

It’s not about tuning out pain

It’s not about doing mindfulness perfectly

Contact with the present moment is about choosing to show up. Even if your thoughts are loud or your feelings are messy, you can still return to now.

Final Thoughts

Life happens in the present. When we train ourselves to come back to the moment, we make room for clarity, calm, and choice. It doesn’t need to be perfect or polished — it just needs to be real.

Try weaving one small mindfulness moment into your day. Then another. These moments add up.

Counselling Support

If you’d like help developing this skill or navigating strong emotions, I offer ACT-informed counselling in Cairns and online around the world. Book a session or get in touch to learn more.

Making Room for Difficult Emotions: Practicing acceptance

In life, discomfort is inevitable. Whether it's anxiety before a big decision, grief after a loss, or frustration when things don’t go as planned, we all experience painful emotions. Yet so many of us fall into the trap of trying to suppress or control them. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a different approach — one rooted in making space for our inner experiences instead of fighting them.

This blog post explores Acceptance, one of the six core processes of the ACT Hexaflex, and how practicing it can help you live more fully, even when things feel messy or hard.

What Is Acceptance in ACT?

In the ACT model, acceptance means actively allowing uncomfortable thoughts and feelings to be present without trying to avoid, change, or suppress them. This doesn’t mean you have to like or enjoy pain. It means you stop struggling with it, so you can use your energy to focus on what matters to you.

If you’ve ever tried to “just calm down” or “snap out of it,” you’ve experienced how control often backfires. Acceptance invites you to gently open up to your emotions with curiosity rather than resistance.

Why Acceptance Matters

When we resist or avoid our emotional pain, we tend to:

Withdraw from people and opportunities

Get stuck in worry or rumination

Engage in numbing habits (like overworking, scrolling, or overeating)

Practicing acceptance frees up energy. Instead of spending it on a losing battle with your inner world, you can redirect it toward meaningful action.

How to Practice Acceptance

Acceptance is a skill that takes practice. Here are some simple ways to get started.

1. Name What You’re Feeling

The first step is awareness. Instead of judging or suppressing the emotion, say:

> “I’m feeling anxious.”

“Sadness is here right now.”

“I notice a tightness in my chest.”

Naming the emotion helps create space between you and the feeling.

2. Notice Where It Lives in Your Body

Ask yourself:

> “Where do I feel this?”

“What does it feel like — a heaviness, a pressure, a flutter?”

Use slow breathing to stay with the sensation for a few moments. Let it move through you instead of pushing it away.

3. Drop the Struggle Metaphor

Imagine holding a beach ball under water. It takes constant effort. But if you let it float, it just exists. That’s what acceptance offers — less energy spent on suppression, more freedom to live.

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4. Use the ‘Yes, and’ Technique

Instead of “I feel afraid, but I have to do it,” try:

> “I feel afraid, and I’m still going to show up.”

This builds psychological flexibility — you’re not waiting for the feeling to go away before taking action.

What Acceptance Is Not

It’s not passivity or giving up

It’s not about liking or approving of pain

It’s not suppressing or ignoring emotions

Acceptance is a willingness to experience life as it is, so you can show up more fully for the things you care about.

Final Thoughts

Acceptance doesn’t mean surrendering to suffering. It means making room for all parts of your experience, even the uncomfortable ones, so you can move toward your values with openness and strength.

This skill takes time. You won’t get it perfect — and you don’t need to. The goal is progress, not perfection.

Want to Explore This in Counselling?

Whether you're dealing with anxiety, stress, or emotional overwhelm, I can help you build skills like acceptance to improve your mental wellbeing. I offer counselling in Cairns and online across Australia. Feel free to book an appointment or reach out to see if we’re a good fit.

Unhooking Your Thoughts: Practicising Cognitive Defusion

If you’ve ever felt stuck in your own head, replaying the same thought over and over, you’re not alone. Our minds are constantly generating stories, predictions, judgments, and worries. In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), one of the most transformative tools we can learn is called cognitive defusion. It’s all about how to unhook from those thoughts and take back control.

What Is Cognitive Defusion?

Cognitive defusion is one of the six core processes in the ACT Hexaflex, a model that supports psychological flexibility. That means the ability to stay present, manage difficult thoughts and emotions, and act in line with what really matters to us.

In simple terms, defusion means learning to see thoughts for what they are — just thoughts — not facts or commands. Instead of being pushed around by your inner dialogue, defusion helps you take a step back and choose how you want to respond.

For example:

Fused: “I’m a terrible parent.” You believe it, feel shame, and withdraw.

Defused: “I’m having the thought that I’m a terrible parent.” You notice the thought without letting it define you.

Why It Matters

When we fuse with unhelpful thoughts, we:

Get caught in worry and self-doubt

Avoid situations we care about

Miss out on opportunities for connection, growth, and change

Defusion doesn’t aim to get rid of difficult thoughts. It simply gives us space to respond more wisely, not react automatically.

How to Practice Cognitive Defusion

You don’t need to meditate for hours to experience the benefits. Try one of these simple, research-backed exercises today:

1. Label the Thought

Next time an unhelpful thought shows up, add this phrase:

> “I’m having the thought that…”

Example: “I’ll fail this interview” becomes “I’m having the thought that I’ll fail this interview.”

This creates distance and reduces the thought’s grip.

2. Say It in a Silly Voice

Say the thought out loud using a cartoon or robot voice.

It sounds ridiculous, and that’s the point. It helps you see the thought for what it is: just a mental event.

3. Write It Down

Jot the thought on a sticky note and carry it with you. Whenever it pops up in your day, look at the note and remind yourself,

> “This is just something my mind says sometimes.”

4. Thank Your Mind

When your mind starts spinning stories, gently say,

> “Thanks, Mind. That’s an interesting one.”

It’s a kind way to acknowledge your thoughts without giving them control.

5. Leaves on a Stream (Mindfulness Exercise)

Close your eyes and imagine sitting beside a stream.

Each time a thought arises, imagine placing it on a leaf and watching it float by.

No need to hold on. No need to push it away. Just let it pass.

A Quick Reminder

Defusion isn’t about “thinking positively” or trying to force away uncomfortable thoughts. It’s about changing your relationship to them, so you can stay grounded in the present and move toward what matters to you.

Want to Go Deeper?

If this resonates with you, I’d love to help you explore these tools in counselling sessions. I work in-person in Cairns and online across Australia. Feel free to book an appointment or reach out to find out more.