You Are Not Your Thoughts: Practicing Self-as-Context

We all have a voice in our head — a running commentary narrating, criticising, predicting. Sometimes it says helpful things. Often, it says things that cause stress, shame, or self-doubt. The problem isn’t that we have this voice. The problem is when we believe it is us.

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), one of the six core skills for psychological flexibility is called Self-as-Context. It’s a powerful process that helps you step back from your thoughts and feelings and notice that you are the one observing them, not the content itself.

What Is Self-as-Context?

Self-as-context is the idea that you are more than your thoughts, feelings, or roles. You're the part of you that notices, observes, and holds space for all of your experience — like the sky holds the weather.

Even when storms come (fear, anger, grief), the sky doesn’t break. It makes room. That sky is your observing self — constant, present, and spacious.

Why It Matters

When we confuse ourselves with our thoughts or labels, we:

Get stuck in unhelpful stories (e.g. “I’m broken,” “I always mess things up”)

React automatically instead of choosing

Struggle to take values-based action

Practicing self-as-context helps you unhook from self-judgment and find stability, even when your mind is noisy.

How to Practice Self-as-Context

It’s not abstract or mystical. These are grounded ways to connect with your observing self.

1. Notice the Voice of the Mind

Start by becoming aware of your thoughts as just thoughts. Say to yourself:

> “I notice I’m having the thought that I’ll fail.”

“I’m hearing my mind tell me I’m not good enough.”

This gently separates you from the content.

2. Practice the Sky and Weather Metaphor

Sit quietly for a minute. Imagine your thoughts and feelings as clouds passing by. Some are light, some are dark. You don’t need to stop them. Just notice them float through the sky of your awareness.

3. Try the Chessboard Exercise

Imagine your mind as a chessboard. Your thoughts and feelings are the pieces — some black, some white. But you’re not the pieces. You’re the board. You hold space for the whole game.

4. Use Perspective-Taking Phrases

When you feel caught in a story, say:

> “I’m more than this emotion.”

“I’m the one noticing this.”

“This is something I experience, not all that I am.”

These reminders build space between your identity and your experience.

What It’s Not

It’s not detachment or avoidance

It’s not about erasing your story

It’s not about having no thoughts

Self-as-context is about building the muscle to notice, without becoming entangled.

Final Thoughts

There’s a part of you that’s bigger than your fear, shame, or uncertainty. You’ve always had it. You might just need help remembering how to access it.

Self-as-context helps you live with more freedom and flexibility — not by eliminating hard thoughts, but by learning to hold them lightly.

Counselling Support

If you want to explore this skill with support, I offer ACT-informed counselling in Cairns and online across Australia. You don’t have to untangle everything alone. Book a session or get in touch to learn more.